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You can learn how to master your fears. It’s really very simple. All it takes is a simple mind shift from your current thought processes.
First, in order to overcome fear, you have to understand what it is.
So, what is it exactly?
fear- (n) – an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.
That’s what the dictionary says, but I’m not talking about that particular kind.
Initially, it was a biological safety net that we as humans evolved over time, in order to stay alive and well in perilous situations.
This is not the kind of fear I’m talking about either.
I also don’t care about the visceral fears, like spiders, ghosts, heights, or enclosed spaces.
I’m talking about that huge hairy monster with red eyes, and dripping teeth, that likes to hang out on your back and keep you stuck in your current life experience.
The kind that makes us stay in a multitude of situations, like bad relationships, dead end jobs, falling down living spaces, even unsafe cars, because we actually believe that life can’t get better.
It tells us not to reach for our dreams, because fear is lonely, and wants us to stay right there with it where it’s cozy and safe.
It wants you to stay small, give up on opportunities, and not live life to it’s fullest potential.
Fear is a scared little child monster.
We will never have the lives we actually want if we don’t learn to stop listening to that monster on our backs.
So, how do you do that when it seems so hard? How do you get rid of it when it seems so big and heavy?
The answer is so simple, it’s crazy.
Create a mind shift. Change your thought processes for good.
You have to learn how to retrain your brain to see the world through different lenses. The lenses you’ve been wearing haven’t been working thus far, so why are you still wearing them?
I’m not going to lie to you, the process of retraining your brain is hard. It requires you to show up, and do the work. You have to commit to it or it won’t work. If you’re super serious about changing your life, however, then it’s totally worth it.
There will be moments when you let fear put up roadblocks so that it can climb right back up to his former cozy position.
But, you can get past it, and here are a few little tips and tricks to help you start:
- Breathe– Fear and anxiety are essentially the same emotion, so breathe. Close your eyes and breathe in and out for as long as you need to, until the tightness in your chest goes away.
- Change your internal dialogue- If all you say to yourself over and over again is, “I can’t,” then that’s exactly what will happen. Our thoughts are powerful things. They create our world. If you start telling yourself, “you can,” then all of a sudden your outside world will offer you opportunities to support that. Sit down, breathe, and tell yourself YOU CAN. Then, watch what happens.
- Do one thing that scares you each day, or week, or month– Go at your own pace, but commit to doing it for long enough, that things start to not feel as scary anymore. Change happens in baby steps., but you DO HAVE TO TAKE THE STEPS.
- Be kind to yourself- When we are afraid of things, we often look down on ourselves. We feel ashamed or guilty for having normal human emotions. Let me be clear. It is normal to feel fear when faced with hard choices. YOU ARE NORMAL. Don’t let your shame stop you from moving forward, however. You DESERVE happiness and lightness of mind. Be kind to yourself for feeling afraid, because everyone goes through it. Tell yourself, “It is normal to feel this way, and I CAN get past it.”
- Journal– Write everything you think and fear down, and keep doing it. Journaling is an excellent form of therapy, and it’s free! I often figure out my next course of action when I journal, because it helps me to organize my thoughts. Go back and read it after a month, or a year, and see how far you’ve gotten. It helps you to see your progress, and it can give you a confidence boost.
- Talk about it– Find someone you trust, and talk through whatever it is you’re afraid of. Keeping it internalized can often lead to jumbled thoughts and emotions. Saying it out loud really helps to put your thoughts in order, and sometimes a friend might have a different perspective on something that you hadn’t considered before.
- Pray or Meditate about it– Whatever you believe in, it can help. Prayer and meditation are essentially the same thing. You are quieting your mind, and asking for help. It means you have opened your heart and mind to receiving answers. Being open to anything like that, is usually when we get answers we need. We haven’t closed our minds off anymore, or put parameters on what we think can happen.
So, there you go!
I hope some of these things help you on the journey to moving past your fears. Remember, you DESERVE the life you actually want to live.
If these tricks don’t help, and you need a more guided exercise, then be on the lookout for my “Targeting Your Fears Workbook.”
It’s a super helpful packet of journaling prompts that helps you to understand your fears and struggles and move past them. I will literally be holding your hand through the process in these exercises.
I’m so excited to share them with you soon!
In the meantime, subscribe to my blog, and soak up all of the yummy information coming your way!
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Stay tuned, and have courage my friends,