What is Your Shadow Self?

And How to Love it.

Maybe you’ve heard of the term shadow self, coined by the late analytical psychologist Carl Jung, or maybe it’s brand new to you.

Dr. Jung created this and other phrases to explain his version of the dark side of the psyche.

The shadow self is where we hide our past traumas and secret away our unwanted emotions. The trickiest part about it is that it often resides in our subconscious.

It’s like taking a locked box, and hiding it away in a secret room of your brain, and then losing the keys.

shadow self

This post may contain affiliate links. This means, that if you click on the links, and make a purchase, I may receive a small commission. This comes at no extra cost to you, and it helps me to feed my family, and fund this blog.

When you experience a traumatic event, one of two things happens. You either remember every little detail about that event, or your brain intervenes and protects itself by wiping your conscious memories away, but they never disappear entirely.

They are hidden in your shadow self; waiting.

Even if you are the type of person that remembers everything about a traumatic event, you will inevitably store some of the emotions in your shadow self in an effort to process what you’re going through, one step at a time, so as not to be overwhelmed.

The problem is, that you may never revisit them, and these emotions will come back to haunt you at the least opportune moment.

Healing from Abuse

This is called an emotional trigger.

Emotional triggers are released when someone or something makes you feel the same way that you felt during a traumatic event.

These triggers often appear in an ugly way.

shadow self

You might feel scared, worthless, or angry when you are triggered, and this can cause a downward spiral of anxiety, depression, loss of self-esteem, and even addiction. It might even cause you to alienate loved ones, or lash out at them.

So, how could we possibly love our shadow self if it is harboring all of this negativity?

The very first step towards learning to love our dark side is Shadow Work.

Shadow Work is any act of healing that shines a light on our shadow self. If you want more information about Shadow Work, visit the link above.

An act of healing is an act of love.

InnerTalk: Change has never been easier!

The easiest way to start healing, is to take a good look at yourself, and discern the areas of your life that you feel ashamed, or low about.

Focus on each area individually, until you feel some sort of acceptance. In other words, don’t try to heal everything about yourself all at once. That can be very overwhelming. Acceptance is the end goal. It is the key to loving the dark bits of yourself.

You can choose any method of healing that speaks to you. Yoga might be your answer, or you may find that meditation or prayer works better for you.

Maybe you’re the type of person who needs guided healing and a therapist is the best way to go. You might also try journaling, or taking long walks to clear your head.

Whatever gives you the most satisfaction, and provides the best results. It doesn’t matter where you start, you just have to start somewhere.


This is really hard work. Expect to see and feel some seriously hard emotions. You might feel things you didn’t even realize you felt, and act out because of it. Warn loved ones, and create a safe space for yourself when you do this type of emotional healing. You may even want to have a trusted friend or family member on call in case it gets to be too much to deal with by yourself.

shadow self

After reading that disclaimer, you’re probably wondering why anyone would go through that kind of hard emotional work.

The answer is, that a select few people really want to see a healthy and positive change in their lives. They want to be free from their depression and anxiety, and understand that those things stem from past traumas that were never dealt with.

These people want to understand themselves. They’re curious about themselves and what makes them tick. Too few people are like that, but these are the people who have the best shot at a truly happy life. A life that’s free from the chains of depression and anxiety, and one that offers total acceptance and love of oneself.

Wouldn’t you like to know what it feels like to be happy and free of all of your emotional burdens?

Sounds pretty worth it right?

Eliminating Self-Sabotage

If you’re interested in this, and want to know a little more about what makes you tick, then be on the lookout for my new ebook, “Find the Real You, Overcoming a Lifetime of Conditioning.”

Do you feel like you’ve become a version of yourself that you don’t recognize? Going through a midlife crisis? Feel like something’s missing from your life, but can’t figure out what it is? I address why you feel all of these things, and why most of it is coming from your early childhood.

It’s because we are conditioned to think and feel a certain way very early on, and it might not match up with who we actually are at our core. This can lead to all sorts of problems later in life.

I explain how this happens, and how to break free from your conditioning and embrace a life that looks exactly like the real you.

My ebook will be available to you in just two weeks, and I will announce it’s debut in one of my blog posts, so be watching for it!!

Also, sign up for my email list below and receive additional insights, freebies, and advice for all of your Shadow Work needs!

Happy Healing